Grumpiness

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 17

Cambridge  parkrun 5K yesterday morning. It wasn’t as cold as expected (around 6-7C) although for the last 4 years since I had my heart attack, I am much more sensitive to low temperatures than before. I presume this is due to the side effects of medication. This is a manageable problem if I wear appropriate running gear. This means I might have a heavier duty running jacket, long sleeved running top, heavy duty gloves, beenie and track bottoms. No wonder I’m slower at the moment. I can look like an Arctic traveller. It’s also highly likely I will be standing next to someone who has vest and shorts when it’s below zero. I think these types of runners should have their own separate race where they are free to run naked in the snow if they choose. Anyway, the going was soft to muddy and the degree of traction wasn’t great so I didn’t get under 24 minutes. In the finish tunnel there’s an occasional holdup and I can always be easily identified because I am doubled over with exertion and lack of breath. This egregious state of affairs doesn’t last long because I recover quickly but not before someone asks me if I’m OK. I gasp “Yes, yes” but deep down I know I’ve never been the same since Cream broke up in 1968 and Jimi Hendrix died in 1970. And don’t get me started on excellent magazines which are now defunct. Particularly The Listener, invariably described as the ” official organ of the BBC.” Not glossy, not full of celebrity froth but crammed of interesting, explanatory articles and the text of talks and discussions from 1929 to 1991, weekly. So, when I finish exhausted, it’s hard for people to realise there is an additional component of loss, anger, unfairness, bewilderment and wistfulness  to my presentation. Probably they should ask if I needed counselling rather than help for my temporary physical state.

Anyway, there were 372 finishers at Cambridge yesterday. The fastest ran 5K in 16 minutes 19 seconds and the last person’s time was 39 minutes 6 seconds. Peter the oldest park runner (80-84 age category) is not actually running at present but has taken to walking the course IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION and greeting everybody he knows as they pass. Long may he do so. Here’s the link :     http://www.parkrun.org.uk/cambridge/

Is there an equivalent nationally organised, weekly free race, run by volunteers (no pun intended) happening in the USA ?

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 14

Out running with the club based at Cambridge and Coleridge AC on November 12. We meet up on Tuesdays around 6.35 pm, have a jog around the athletics track, do a series of warm up exercises and then split into two groups, one to use the track and the other to run on the road. I usually go out on the road. This time of year we run in the dark. The street lights give a reasonable light on most routes but there are plenty of spots where the light is obscured by trees or the street lamps are spaced too far apart to illuminate the path in its entirety. That means you can’t always see where you are placing your feet and thus each of these strides can produce EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY. Each step forward is a leap of faith (if a step can be a leap) into the unknown. You could be putting your rapidly moving foot down on wet leaves, pot holes, dog poo and very uneven surfaces. The name of the game is survival ! Survival of the fittest. The weak or unlucky fall by the wayside. Leave them there. You must succeed at all costs and pass your winning gene pool to the next generation. Running in the dark is so Darwinian. We become an elite, unstoppable force, disregarding the poor visibility and triumphantly overcoming any impediment ( including those irritating pedestrians who persistently dawdle and get in my way). Don’t they recognize a group of Greek gods and goddesses when they see them ?

I like running in the dark. I don’t worry about falling over and therefore my body is not tensing up. It can be exhilarating  running past shoppers, ancient Cambridge buildings, alongside the river and along the old, short roads and open space paths. We numbered about 25. Nobody met with an accident. We enjoyed it.

Last night we went to the Cambridge Union debating hall and listened to an interview with Donna Tartt, the author of The Secret History. My Little Friend and The Goldfinch. Despite her stylized Gothic appearance, which I presume she maintains each and every day because I have never seen a photo where she has deviated from this dress code, I found her warm,responsive and smiley in conversation. There was a long queue for book signing which I joined and was eventually rewarded with a few friendly words and her signature. Thank you Ms Tartt.

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 11

Grey skies and rain here today in Cambridge. Just the kind of weather to bring my mood down and stop me running. It wasn’t too cold, however, and I wanted to get back into a running routine. Now that my tolerance to cold temperatures is reduced, I do tend to wear a lot of kit when it’s chilly. The temperature was around 7-8C, not particularly cold for most people, especially runners. I put on a heavy duty running jacket. long sleeve top, good quality all weather gloves and running tights. In this outfit I look like a speedy pixie. It’s not the kind of image that a cool dude of my standing would want to cultivate. Why, on one occasion I heard a small child ask her mother “Mummy, that funny man over there, is he a magical creature?” Another nail in the coffin bearing my sef image as hardly indistinguishable from Clint Eastwood circa 1965. Anyway I went for a short run (18 minutes) without ridicule or humiliation and tomorrow I’ll go running with the club.

Bonus grumpy point : why do my ears change size? I don’t listen to anything when I’m running but I do listen to BBC Radio 4 podcasts (doesn’t everyone ?) when I’m walking Rupert, our dalmation. The earphone often does not fit my right ear and falls out whereas previously it did not exhibit this irritating behaviour. Perhaps I am a magical creature whose magic has turned against him bigtime !

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 9

I haven’t run for a full week. I’m not injured but the weather does interfere with my motivation. Autumn, I have accepted, is really here. More rain, less sunshine and lower temperatures. Rain’s OK but cold and grey skies certainly do have a negative impact on my mood. I’m probably a very mild case of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It doesn’t help that I’m more susceptible to cold now compared with  much greater tolerance of it prior to my heart attack four years ago. I think it’s due to the effects of the medication I take. The same medication that regulates my heart beat, keeps me well and STOPS ME RUNNING FASTER. Today, I ran Cambridge parkrun which featured plenty of mud and large puddles. I felt good running but the time was inevitably slower than usual because of the conditions under foot. Poor traction always makes for greater effort and slower times. I was around 20 seconds slower than last week’s slow time but overall I was happy with my performance. Last week I was still coming back from injury so my displeasure is on the meagre side. My arch rival Mike easily beat me again. I need to choose some less fast arch rivals and install them into my mind. Then I can relegate Mike to ordinary running dude and friend rather than evil competitor.There’s clear need to get some trail shoes to negotiate muddy and  wet conditions which are a regular autumn/winter feature of both Cambridge and Wimpole Estate parkruns. At Cambridge, in particular, there are lots of tight muddy corners and it’s easy to come a cropper.

Interesting article in New Scientist November 9 2013 concerning the benefits of exercising. Current research is suggesting a correlation between consistent exercise and maintaining cognitive health including a lesser risk of developing severe cognitive impairment through dementia. Research also points to the importance of physical activity in the development of a range of cognitive abilities from childhood. Increasingly, exercise is linked with a number of health benefits including lowering the risk of heart disease and certain cancers and preventing the onset of type 2 diabetes. I did have a heart attack but my general level of fitness, as a result of running, has greatly helped in my recovery with no real loss of running ability. It’s left me with few obvious deficits in my overall health (except the medication STOPS ME RUNNING FAST).

What a bunch of shits comprise this coalition government and principally, the Tories. They are very skilled in creating an atmosphere of public loathing and condemnation of certain groups of people whom it is in their interest to demonise, those they would describe as  benefits scroungers or work refusers, and highlighting people taking  benefits on medical grounds which are supposedly insubstantial or non existent. The non working mentally ill, NHS “tourists”, housing benefit claimants and anyone who isn’t a hard working tax payer, all come in for a drubbing. There is a cruelty and a lack of humanity about their policies which is more obvious when you understand how they are implemented. See Polly Toynbee article http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/08/duncan-smith-poverty-benefit-sanctions-easterhouse

More dusting yesterday including cobweb removal. Dusting is not particularly interesting but dust itself is ! There’s so much of it and each, occasionally visible individual speck makes its own individual journey before its final resting place (unless you blow it elsewhere). What tales dust could tell (or not), what lessons could be learnt from history if dust had a voice. What a noble substance ! Don’t mess with it.

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 2

Today, I ran my 150th parkrun, the weekly 5K  inclusive social run which is really a race no matter what time you achieve. Of course, the elite runners started to my rear and immediately  preceding me a golden chariot, steered by an Egyptian chariot master and pulled by two Bengal tigers, growling and barely contained, waited for the start gun.  Bang! Off we went. I must give praise where praise is due. Those tigers did a good job of clearing the woodland path of dawdling bystanders and they were very fine pacers. I won by miles and set another course record. I gave  a score of autographs and had much cake proffered. My eyes were dazzled by the dozens of flash photos taken and I could only assuage the excitement of the crowd by giving a short speech. A subsequent appearance fee was satisfyingly agreed.

Well, that’s how it should have gone. The cold reality is that I achieved position 107 and came in one second faster than last week. The secret of my success? I run as fast as I can at any particular point in the race. With this formula, which gets me in one second faster each week, I’ll be able to calculate the date I can win in 15 minutes. For real !

Didn’t see many of my running chums today. A number of them are in tomorrow’s Bonfire Burn 10K and don’t want to jeopardize their times by running. Lorna remains long term injured and decided not to spectate or volunteer today. She has developed insertional achilles tendonitis and this is a problem which is not resolving. A scan later this month should give a clearer understanding of the severity, and treatment needed. It may require an operation to rectify. It’s so unlucky to get such a substantial injury and a real loss to us both. Running has got lonelier again.

Our local daily newspaper Cambridge news ran a headline today. See http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Some-people-turn-to-God-I-turned-to-Adolf-Hitler-says-Paul-Dutton-the-Cambridge-man-who-wore-Nazi-SS-uniform-to-go-shopping-at-Asda-20131102053542.htm Browsing the  electronic ether, I see most of the tabloids have the story plus a number of good quality images of his considerable stock of Nazi memorabilia, Nazi tattoos and uniforms. The various  articles all give prominence to the reason he gives for this obsession : mental health issues which developed after a vasectomy operations and the onset of insomnia. On the limited information available, his behaviour does not make any kind of sense unless the primary cause is a personality disorder. His quotes and that of others are hilarious non sequiturs. Even giving him the benefit of the doubt, which I don’t, this kind of behaviour is very, very rare in a mental illness context. Unfortunately, this high profile case can only strengthen stigma against, and stereotyping of, people with mental health problems.

A few random images of a local open space which, on reflection, has its eerie aspects.

Walnut tree   China dog   spooky path   Curious and whistful cow

A walnut tree which is still producing walnuts, an abandoned full sized porcelain dog, a spooky path and a curious but wistful cow. Future images include families of fungi.

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Aliveandrunning2013 October 24

OMG ! I went for a 2 mile run today and my right calf gave no indication that it was less than 100% fully recovered. I felt fit, rested and ready to run regularly again. If I was prone to exaggeration, I might reveal that I have a reservoir of pent up energy such that only a series of Ironman races could assuage. But that would be silly. Instead, after a few weeks of virtually not running, I merely feel like the proverbial coiled spring or maybe a Maserati forced to poodle along in heavy traffic. Perhaps, on Saturday, I will start at the front of Cambridge parkrun alongside the rest of the elite runners. They will herald the return of the Cambridge gazelle and genuflect. They are forced to eat my dust. I succeed in achieving a parkrun national record and trend heavily on Twitter. Alternatively, I run without further injury and enjoy myself. I then decide to do the Bonfire Burn 10K on November 3 and run this comfortably.

I listened to the Chair of NHS England, Sir Malcolm Grant, discuss the appointment of Simon Stevens as chief executive of the NHS on Today, Radio 4 this morning. Sir Malcolm had a very educated voice. Beautiful diction, nicely modulated, articulate , confident, assured. To doubt him would surely reflect badly on the doubter. His voice was very persuasive and its tone suggested you were either stupid or ignorant or churlish not to agree. Yet he spoke in well rehearsed platitudes and invited us to believe that the world had been scoured to find the right appointee who had the vision, commitment to quality and the degree of integrity to put the patients’ interests first, blah, blah,blah. Their British appointee has spent 9 years in America in the health insurance business and is known to favour an increased role for the private sector in the NHS. Sir Malcolm’s voice is a good example of a class weapon, designed to intimidate and convince and hide the true nature of things. So, Bobs  your uncle, Fannys your aunt and everything is A1 at Lloyds. Wot a North and South ! (mouth -Cockney rhyming slang).

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Aliveandrunning2013 October 19

It’s hard not running. I feel more tired and physically slower, I’m eating too much and I’m mildly resentful of running buddies who have the nerve to keep on running rather than show solidarity with me and hang up their shoes until I’ve fully recovered. My calf is no longer aching or sore when pressed but the swelling persists. In three weeks, I’m registered to do the Bonfire Burn 10K. I would be able to complete it but there would be a strong chance of re-injuring my calf and setting me back further. Anyway, I’ll see how I progress overt the next fortnight. There’s an equally strong chance I’ll make the wrong decision.

We volunteered at Wimpole Estate parkrun handing out the finish tokens at the end of the race (which are then scanned alongside  a personal barcode and  appear online as a results table). The weather held and the parkland setting was as beautiful as ever. We had coffee with our friends and then we retired to the second hand bookshop where I underwent a near mystical olfactory experience. Yes, that’s right ! A smell, an odor, a fragrance. The perfume of books on wooden shelves. The scent of old fashioned libraries which only contained physical tomes. I had only taken three steps inside when my not so sensitive nostrils took me back to to my childhood and adolescence. I do know a sizeable number of book people actually sniff them as a part of a sensory experience which digital devices cannot provide. Don’t worry if you are such a person. It’s completely normal and entirely conducive to good mental health. Anyway after recovering  my poise, I bought Ian McEwan’s On Chesil Beach and three Pelican Freud Library paperbacks, Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis, New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis and The Psychopathology of Everyday Life. The Freud volumes are not difficult to read but do require a degree of concentration. However you can dip into them. Sometimes you can feel that Sigmund is talking directly to you. His cultural world and psychological insights continue to fascinate and resonate equally. There is an otherness about his writing which in these times of evidence based research is refreshing. That’s an example of the kind of reasoning which I employ to convince me to buy a book. I have an array of different justifications for various types of books or magazines. I usually succeed in making the right decision.

We’ve got a pair of tickets to see the austere looking Donna Tartt in Cambridge soon. I read The Secret History around 1992 and liked it. I’ll have to get a copy of The Goldfinch and get it signed. “Thank you, Ms Tartt. I’ll be sure to buy your next novel when it’s published in ten years’ time. By the way, have you ever thought of going blond?”

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Aliveandrunning2013 October 15

It’s not easy being a runner when you are injured. Not so long ago, my friends called me the Cambridge gazelle. I ran like the wind (note combination of metaphor and simile), I leapt over any obstacle, I ruthlessly cut a swathe through inferior runners who fell away in awe as I swept past at a super hero pace. In short I was acknowledged as a running god. But no more. The sun has set so far North it won’t rise again for several months. The legend is tarnished, the glitter slides off, the celebrity stumbles. I am beset with failed body parts. Well, one primarily. My bloody right calf ! It’s going to require much longer to recover and I haven’t done myself any favours by running on it before it was fully healed. I’m metaphorically chastising myself right now and it’s not pleasant. Parkrun is out for the time being and a 10K at the beginning of November is in jeopardy. Or is it ? A possible scenario. A week before, I decide my calf strain has gone and I am fully fit. I successfully run the Bonfire Burn 10K but shortly afterwards my calf starts to ache then hurt. Two days later I am hobbling around, my calf badly bruised and swollen. My injury enters a chronic phase.

I did contact my GP surgery to discuss my calf sprain because there was a  very small chance that I had developed a deep vein thrombosis (DVT). I spoke to the practice nurse and my self diagnosis was confirmed. She rang back 10 minutes later having discussed it with a doctor and said I should have a blood test to definitely rule out a DVT. I had a blood test 2 hours later. An excellent service. Thank you.

We watched Stephen Fry : Out There in which he reflects on how much improvement there has been for gay people in his lifetime. It included positive examples like civil partnerships and individual celebrities coming out and shocking instances of proposed laws in Uganda to allow the death penalty for homosexuality. He interviewed a rabidly homophobic church minister who supported the measure and a Government minister for Ethics and Integrity who supports the death penalty. He also spoke to a lesbian who had been “correctively raped”, aged 14. I like Stephen Fry’s approach. It wasn’t that difficult to coax homophobes to spout their sexual fears and hatreds. It’s always dismaying to hear their total absence of empathy and lack of common humanity.

The police are getting some very bad press at the moment. The Independent Police Complaints Commission has questioned the honesty and integrity of police officers who met with Andrew Mitchell MP over the Plebgate row. After the meeting they misrepresented his views at a pre-arranged press conference. But Conservative Andrew secretly recorded the meeting. Eight people, including four police officers, have been arrested and bailed over the September 2012 row at the security gates to Downing Street. The row occurred when Mitchell was told by police not to take his bike through the main gate and  exit instead via a nearby side gate. In a short outburst, he swore at the officers and allegedly called them “plebs”, an interesting class slur.The pleb jibe (alleged) hurt the thin skinned police officers which Mitchell has consistently denied uttering. The police position is becoming increasingly weaker as evidence is amounting that individuals are making up evidence, much like they did following the Hillsborough Stadium  disaster when they blamed the football fans’ behaviour for the deaths of 96 people crushed to death. It seems clear that they have failed to “fit up” Andrew Mitchell and their image is further shredded.

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Aliveandrunning2013 October 12

I have not been running since I did parkrun exactly a week ago. My right calf  strain hasn’t fully recovered but I decided to do Cambridge parkrun today and see how it goes. The race was OK. My arch rival Mike beat me by 47 seconds but a secondary arch rival Darien came in a second behind me. Disappointingly, my calf felt sore and slightly painful when pressed. Perhaps I will have to promote this injury from mild to moderate. It didn’t stop us from having coffee with friends which included new pal Maurice and some of us eating homemade cake offered by two chums who were celebrating running 50 and 100 parkruns each.

I’m having difficulty finding T shirts to fit me in national stores like M&S and John Lewis. Supermarket T’s are similarly problematic. They are predominately large fit, unshaped and long. It’s clear these are aimed at men who are overweight and probably have a sizeable paunch or at least an ample waistline. Which means they will have a large mass of visceral fat around their organs. That’s not at all good. It’s very bad. Do they know? Do they care? Someone’s got to buy the cronuts !

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 29

Cambridge parkrun went well. No problems with my right calf muscle and I was only 22 seconds away from a personal best. My arch rival, Mike, beat me by 17 seconds but ” vengeance is mine, sayeth the runner” and we go head to head next week in the Wimpole Hall Estate Hoo Haar half marathon. Lovely, sunny weather for the 5K parkrun. Lorna volunteered, scanning finishers’ barcodes and, after the race,  we had coffee, with friends, outside in the warm sun. Why wouldn’t you do parkrun at 9 am on Saturday morning? Staying in bed often results in feeling lethargic during the day and susceptible people are at risk from Krispey Kremes or other dangerous sugar and fat confections if they don’t take active steps to wake themselves up. If you are feeling down in mood, running and particularly social runs can help you to manage your mood or positively alter your mindset. Runners readily form communities and everyone can belong. There are so many more available races these days and it can work out fairly expensive in terms of entry fees. Soon, people will be turning to crime to fund their running habit. But parkrun is free! They only ask you to volunteer occasionally (and this is fun rather than a chore). It gives an insight into the amount of organisation required to stage a run and allows you to contribute to its success. Parkrun is very inclusive ; parents frequently run with babies in buggies, carry toddlers or run with older children. You don’t have to be a “serious runner” or particularly fit but it will motivate you to think about what you would like to do regarding levels of fitness and how you could realistically achieve those goals.

At the moment, I think I will be sufficiently fit to do the Wimpole half marathon. I have done very little training, due to injury, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be able to complete the course without calf pains. If I feel uncomfortable, I will stop running. After more than 30 years, the penny has finally dropped. DON’T RUN ON AN INJURY ! It’s so tempting. How easily we can delude ourselves and become  unrealistically optimistic. We find we can run the race and the pain hasn’t been so bad. Then we discover, at our leisure, that we have compounded the injury which might have cleared up in a third  of the time  it will now take. Anyway, that’s the theory. But if I’m just ahead of Mike and my calf starts to twang, no way am I going to pull up and let my arch rival beat me so easily. In fact I will redouble my effort and push on, even if I need to be stretchered off at the finish line.

Today, we spectated at the Bourn to Run 10K where Mike and Sue were running. Both ran well over an undulating trail course and their young daughter, Emily, did the 3K race. A second excellent day of weather with unbroken sunshine and early Autumn warmth. We met loads of running friends of all abilities and it was an enjoyable way to spend a Sunday morning. Again, why wouldn’t you want to be a part of that? If you experience problems with your mood, here’s a gold standard activity (running or volunteering or spectating) to mitigate and manage those difficulties.

Chief Constable Mike Barton of Durham Police has called for the decriminalisation of Class A drugs and advocates the care and treatment of addicts rather than criminalising them. He argues that the  disappearance of the criminal element of drugs removes the income stream of criminal groups, erodes their power and influence and allows for a “controlled environment” for the dissemination of addicts’ drugs, possibly administered under the auspices of the NHS. This approach has been implemented, or part implemented, in a few other countries. I don’t know what the outcomes have been but it is a dramatic change of tack that is increasingly being discussed. Unfortunately these kinds of controversial measures are laden with political risk for the party bringing in the appropriate legislation. The government would be denounced and pilloried by the right wing media whose demographic comprise the frightened middle classes, unthinking people, bigots and the mindset that requires all transgressions to be punished. I presume the coalition, or rather the Tories, won’t genuinely address the issue or will dismiss it.

Lorna pointed out a statistic in yesterday’s Guardian. “For 36% of Britons , a tidy home is a greater pleasure than a holiday, a night out or sex But the study showed that woman still do most of the tidying).” Source : survey of householder appliance manufacturer Beko. Ye Gods! What inferior kind of holiday, night out or sex are these people having?

Random pictures of books in our home. Reading a book, of course, is a greater pleasure than keeping a tidy house.

photo (4) photo books12photo5