Author: oscardiamond

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Aliveandrunning December 22

Cambridge parkrun was a very muddy event yesterday and 330 runners pounding the narrow paths for a couple of circuits didn’t improve traction. The weather, however, was much better than predicted and the rain held off. The temperature was relatively high for December, too. So, some conditions suited me but the EVIL mud brought me low. I was humiliated by being 50 whole seconds slower than last week (the equivalent of 50 separate Big Bangs) and suffered more loss of face when Lorna, who volunteered and was tasked with timing at the finish, refused to fiddle the numbers and didn’t knock a minute or two off my time. What’s the point of volunteering if you can’t give your spouse an unfair advantage? I was a minute behind arch rival Mike but just managed to beat Diane who wore fancy dress and was rather too warm for comfort. There’s not much glory in beating an overheated Father Christmas, is there ? Still, I did enjoy the run and we chatted with friends afterwards. We should have had coffees all round but unfortunately the cafe allows itself to be overwhelmed by runners every Saturday morning. Rather than spending all their time creating bespoke time consuming coffees it would make more sense to offer nice hot filter coffee and get the queue moving. We and others gave up after about 25 minutes and there were still plenty before us.

I’ve just joined up for Janathon http://www.janathon.com/rules.html The idea is to run and blog each day through the month of January. I did this last June when it was designated a Juneathon and managed a run every day. It doesn’t have to be very far and there’s no stipulated distance. It’s good to have a tight structure for running consistently. If I was a despot I would MAKE everyone run each day, for their own benefit, of course. Any dissenters or refuseniks would be exiled to the Isle of Wight for reeducation before being reintegrated into society and monitored for future apostasy. Running is good for you. Why wouldn’t you want to do it !

Next race is the Ely 10K on New Years Eve and there are a number of informally organised races over the Christmas period that I could theoretically run.

I found this intriguing article on the Guardian website. I haven’t read it yet but it sounds interesting. http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/the-running-blog/2013/dec/20/running-backwards-way-forward-technique-benefits  Here’s another Guardian article on obesity and cirrhosis of the liver http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/dec/14/obesity-tidal-wave-cirrhosis  Their running blog is excellent.

 

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Aliveandrunning2013 December 19

We swept through the subtle gloom of late night Cambridge, negotiating dark alley ways, racing over bridges and exploring barely imaginable aspects of the City asleep. We were 17 super heroes running, nay sprinting, our chosen course and helping to keep Cambridge safe. Great deeds, too numerous to mention, were done that night. Modesty precludes relating their nature save one. A baby fell from an upstairs College window and seemed certain to be dashed on the aged Cambridge cobblestones below. But Archibald D’arcy-Smithers, the lead super hero runner spotted the falling tot, increased his speed exponentially and caught him in his arms in the nick of time. The group dutifully ran on the spot, waiting for the child to be reunited with its negligent father who stammered his thanks and admitted he had become over absorbed in Wittgenstein’s Tractatus. Only in Cambridge ! A few words of advice later, we were soon on our way again and dispensing more good karma.

Generally speaking I have few idiosyncrasies and odd habits (except for collecting books, hoarding newspapers and magazines, sometimes cultivating,always tolerating, spiders’ webs, disliking having my daily newspaper opened up and roughly loosened by someone else (yes, you Lorna!), justifying buying a book by not buying food, regarding a visit to Tesco as mystical experience, holding contrary opinions (example – detaining Daily Mail and Express readers in a holding centre on the Isle of Wight preparatory to their re-programming and re-integration back into sensible society) and having my porridge ritual devalued by Lorna who regularly extracts the spoon out of the glutinous mass as it’s cooling down and licks it !) Apart from the above, I’m completely normal.

Parkrun again in a couple of days. Forecast is rain and plenty of it. I don’t have trail shoes yet and the poor traction will slow me down, My cunning plan to run a faster time consists of cutting my toenails and swinging a kettle bell during the week. I’m unlikely to get below 24 minutes for the 5K. I know how Superman feels when his powers are temporarily removed by kryptonite. Bring on the Spring weather NOW.

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Aliveandrunning2013 December 16

They say parkrun is a social run not a race. 5K of friendly jogging and enjoying the company of like minded buddies. WRONG !! It’s a matter of life and death. Probably more important than life and death. Survival and glory are the only objectives. I see myself as Charlton Heston in the final chariot race in Ben Hur forcing my way through a course of spilled  blood and guts and bodies. I am the good guy but it’s my chariot with the protruding metal spindles that wreck the wheels of competitors causing them to crash spectacularly. 283 runners took part last Saturday. Only the fittest survived and I don’t mind admitting I had blood on my hands when it was all over. How did I do ? A massive 2 seconds faster than last week. I regard that as a huge margin when you compare it to the Big Bang which created the Universe in less than 1 second about 13.7 billion years ago. My arch rival Mike beat me by a minute. I’m fairly sure he takes a short cut when I’m distracted pushing obstructive children out of my way and into the nettles. Perhaps I should request an urgent steward’s inquiry or contact the media. Another 3 seconds faster and I would have dropped below 24 minutes. I can’t seem to do this at the moment. I note that a man in the 60 to 64 age range ran it in 21 minutes 10 seconds. What sorcery is this ? That’s obviously too fast for a social run and he should have been disqualified. My only consolation was that I beat another arch rival, Diane, by 3 seconds (Big Bang times 3) who complained of “tiredness.”

Am I taking it too seriously? Is it unrealistic to harbour a hope that I will, one day,beat the hundred or so runners in front of me and cross the line first ? Should I join the Flat Earth Society ? Am I just an “amiable loafer” as Lorna has described me ? Sounds like a good domain name!

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Aliveandrunning2013 December 11

I continue to run but I have mislaid the Winged Sandals given to me on loan by the Greek god Hermes. I’m not flying along effortlessly and I can no longer kid myself that it’s still late summer. A 45 minute run a couple of days ago was a lacklustre affair and drew no comments from passersby like “Wow, you strongly remind me of Usain Bolt” and “There goes a top class runner we are proud to have living in the Cambridge area.” I missed an outing with the club yesterday and instead heard Ian Rankin. UK crime writer interviewed in a rather lovely church in central Cambridge. See my other blog http://oscardiamond.wordpress.com/ for my very brief review and my view on Scientology following a Supreme Court ruling in London today. Scientology, you couldn’t make it up ? Or could you ?

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/05/pope-francis-approves-panel-fight-clerical-sex-abuse The Catholic Church appears motivated to set up a high profile commission of experts to fight clerical sex abuse but, as explained in this article and another the previous day, the Vatican has refused to give a United Nations panel information it requested on clerical sexual abuse. Additionally there is still no clear plan to examine the issue of bishops’ accountability in clergy abuse cases. You would assume that a religious organisation that has caused, and allowed to continue, so much harm would be highly motivated to make whatever amends it could. Unless that organisation was so thoroughly self serving and saturated with hubris that it decided to continue to minimise the impact of abuse and make an industry out of lip service and crocodile tears.

I have a cunning plan to encourage myself to be more sociable. I will invite more people to come around for coffee or (in exceptional cases where the person is very discerning) lapsang souchong. At the point of invitation I will give them a card stating the maximum length of time they may stay eg I hour, 2 hours, 3 hours etc. They know where they stand and the whole thing has a nice manageable feel for all participants. It also gives a chance for people to increase their favour with me and receive subsequent cards of longer duration. It can’t fail.

 

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Aliveandrunning2013 December 7

I’m struggling to regain my running form after my calf strain in October/November. I haven’t been doing longish training runs and my running week seems to have lost its rhythm. The barometer of success is parkrun. Not only have I failed to beat my arch rival Mike but I am being outpaced by runners who are usually behind me. Woe is me! I am at least 30 SECONDS off my normal pace for a 5K race. That’s a very long time compared with the Big Bang and the creation of the Universe 13.7 billion years ago. On the other hand it’s no time at all if you believe God did the hard work in 6 days. Time to employ a cunning plan to return to form and mop up those superfluous seconds.

The miracle of Nelson Mandela and his associates. White South Africans escaped the retribution they might have expected after decades of cruelty, murder, destruction of human rights, extreme inequality and poor health care for the black majority.

Went to hear Raymond Tallis and Rowan Williams, former Archbishop of Canterbury discuss the issues concerning Science and Religion. It took place at Heffers bookshop in central Cambridge after the shop had closed. Heffers is a large general and academic bookshop and puts on regular literary events. This was the first event we had attended. There was a strong sense of being in a wonderful environment where you only had to reach out to touch a book, even when you were sitting down listening to the speakers. All manner of naughty thoughts ran through my mind. I fancied I co-owned the entire shop (I don’t mind sharing books with others), I considered moving in and I pondered Lorna’s reaction if I bought thousands of pounds of books (helpfully the shop was still open for purchases following the talk (which we enjoyed). Being a disciplined sort of chap, I pulled myself together and left quietly without causing a scene.

Into Cambridge again this afternoon. We meant to go to the “bohemian” Mill Road Winter Fayre today but didn’t get any further than a clutch of charity shops 15 minutes walk away. The large Oxfam shop has an excellent book section but their staff have a serious attitude problem. Because I have more than enough books at home I selflessly decided to browse rather than make a purchase. As I made my way out, empty handed, a sales assistant barred my way and declared I wasn’t permitted  to leave without buying several books. I looked at him incredulously and laughed in his face. Attempting to push past him at least six of his colleagues suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I instinctively knew that my high minded decision not buy anything was doomed. I finally capitulated when someone flicked my earlobe and suggested I was “frightened of books.” I chose four items, resentfully, paid up quickly and stormed out, my dignity in tatters. I won’t be going back there, thank you very much. at least until next week. I really hope their attitude improves but I suspect not.

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 28

I’m just starting to get back to longer weekday runs. It’s still an effort though The dull weather is dulling my mind and motivation. I can’t wait for the return of sunny weather and my sunny disposition. Only four more months until the Spring. Mmm….I think I’ll curl up here under all these Guardian newspapers conveniently hoarded by me and hibernate until the climate is more conducive…..zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

By contrast, running in the dark is fun and exciting. I rarely go running at night alone but in the Autumn and Winter I’m out with the club in and around  the streets of Cambridge. Two evenings ago we did a mixed ability four person relay (curtailed because of too much standing around ) and a paarlauf (where you have teams of paired runners and one rests while the other runs). It’s like a relay. Regard me as easily pleased but it’s quite exciting  waiting for your partner to reach you before you go sprinting off into the night. I felt like a greyhound despite being one of the slowest runners I still can’t outrun several of the seventy year olds.

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Aliveandrunning November 23

South Cambridgeshire-20131006-00083

Decided to go to Wimpole Estate parkrun today. Our 5K run takes us twice past the main house, the largest in Cambridgeshire and dating from 1640. The course takes us around the parkland and incorporates a medium short hill which is steep in parts. I have tried to run up it in the past but now I walk, or rather stride, a section because it’s quicker than a slow jog. It was very chilly and on the muddy side. I wore gloves, trackster bottoms and a heavy running jacket because I feel the cold acutely when the temperature  falls beyond a certain point. Of course some people wear shorts and vests in defiance of the cold and last year, when it fell to minus 10-11C there were still individuals wearing summer kit. The run went OK but the time was inevitably slow for me. Traction was poor and the ground was soft underfoot. I enjoyed it, however and I was only a minute outside my personal best on this course. I didn’t stop for coffee because none of my chums were there. Lorna is still a long way from starting running again and isn’t coming along to parkruns. I was therefore a lonely running god, my only audible human interaction confined to thanking the marshals at the gates. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Once I could be regularly seen sipping barista created coffee in the Wimpole restaurant, surrounded by friends and engage in light banter.Perhaps I would indulge in some limited badinage but I never stooped to persiflage. They were but distant memories today but one single, beautiful thought kept me going. The anticipation of the joy of browsing in the excellent second hand bookshop! But the Fates were against me this morning. What greater woe can a bibliophile experience than to face huge closed doors, possibly 6 metres high, barring the way into the Courtyard containing the aforesaid bookshop. In common parlance, I was too early and bookshop hadn’t opened yet. Greatly irritated, I attempted to split the oak doors asunder by using a particularly powerful glare but to no avail. Crushed in spirit, I called it a day and headed home.

Lorna had a scan on her ankle this week. She is considered to have  Achilles insertional tendonitis. It’s still swollen after 6 months and can be painful after walking even short distances. Running is out of the question. Next week we will get the results of the scan and a decision about treatment will be made. I do hope she will be back running  early next year. I  do miss running with her.

Good article in the Guardian concerning the destructive nature of the competition laws on the NHS.  http://bit.ly/1hNvh4z

The Sun newspaper has a daily circulation of 2.8 million. Big bold headlines yesterday SUICIDE MUM IS WATCHING OVER JOEY. This is a reference to Joey Essex, a young actor in a reality TV programme who is currently a contestant in another reality TV programme called I’m a Celebrity….Get Me Out of Here. The celebs are living in the jungle and undergo “trials” like eating insects or grubs and having various creatures crawl over them in confined spaces. The headline refers to Joey’s mother who committed suicide when he was a child. More evidence that at least 2.8 million people in the UK have switched off, or possibly permanently deleted, their critical faculties. Note to self : devise a sensor to identify Sun readers and enable me to take evasive action.

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 20

Out running with Cambridge and Coleridge  last night. As usual I took the road rather than track option. We did two 1.7 mile loops followed by a mile then a warm down jog back to the club. Slightly disappointed we didn’t do 3 loops as suggested initially but it was an enjoyable run in the dark along the mean streets of outer Cambridge. It goes without saying that I felt like a young demi-god effortlessly negotiating irritating obstacles like pedestrians, street furniture, cyclists and cold weather. A chum fell by the wayside, metaphorically speaking, by” pulling” his calf muscle. Not sure what this means exactly. I think it’s one step up from tweaking your calf. I guess it’s a calf strain again partially caused by insufficient rest following a previous strain. Runners,eh ! They just don’t know when to stop running.

Jeremy Hunt, Health Secretary, lives up to the mispronunciation  of his name by a Radio 4 news presenter some time ago. He calls for a “duty of candour” concerning medical care mistakes in hospital. the need to prevent cover ups and demonstrate much greater accountability and is requiring hospitals to reveal ward staffing levels. The  Tories are adept at demonizing or condemning practices and conduct which most people would agree is not acceptable but they are not willing to follow through and ask how these circumstances are created. The NHS is being not so gradually dismembered and given to for profit providers while cuts and unrealistic targets force managers to take shortcuts and massage figures. There are many sharp practices which don’t come to light but most of them will have arisen because budget holders are placed in impossible positions. Ever higher standards are sought with less money available and in the context of the NHS judged and evaluated as a for profit organisation.  http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/cartoon/2013/nov/19/jeremy-hunt-nhs-hospitals-steve-bell

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/nov/19/nhs-hospitals-penalties-mistakes-midstaffs-scandal-hunt

Interestingly, past and present police officers currently testifying before a parliamentary committee of MPs are revealing that crime statistics have been been altered to boost favourable performance for years. In practice this means some categories of serious crime such as rape, sexual abuse of children and domestic violence are not being investigated and therefore do not swell crime figures adversely. It’s a win-win situation for the police and the government who are able to report that crimes are down on their watch. The police, as well as the Government are a law unto themselves.

Inhttp://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/nov/19/police-failures-rape-child-abuse-official-statistics

 

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 17

Cambridge  parkrun 5K yesterday morning. It wasn’t as cold as expected (around 6-7C) although for the last 4 years since I had my heart attack, I am much more sensitive to low temperatures than before. I presume this is due to the side effects of medication. This is a manageable problem if I wear appropriate running gear. This means I might have a heavier duty running jacket, long sleeved running top, heavy duty gloves, beenie and track bottoms. No wonder I’m slower at the moment. I can look like an Arctic traveller. It’s also highly likely I will be standing next to someone who has vest and shorts when it’s below zero. I think these types of runners should have their own separate race where they are free to run naked in the snow if they choose. Anyway, the going was soft to muddy and the degree of traction wasn’t great so I didn’t get under 24 minutes. In the finish tunnel there’s an occasional holdup and I can always be easily identified because I am doubled over with exertion and lack of breath. This egregious state of affairs doesn’t last long because I recover quickly but not before someone asks me if I’m OK. I gasp “Yes, yes” but deep down I know I’ve never been the same since Cream broke up in 1968 and Jimi Hendrix died in 1970. And don’t get me started on excellent magazines which are now defunct. Particularly The Listener, invariably described as the ” official organ of the BBC.” Not glossy, not full of celebrity froth but crammed of interesting, explanatory articles and the text of talks and discussions from 1929 to 1991, weekly. So, when I finish exhausted, it’s hard for people to realise there is an additional component of loss, anger, unfairness, bewilderment and wistfulness  to my presentation. Probably they should ask if I needed counselling rather than help for my temporary physical state.

Anyway, there were 372 finishers at Cambridge yesterday. The fastest ran 5K in 16 minutes 19 seconds and the last person’s time was 39 minutes 6 seconds. Peter the oldest park runner (80-84 age category) is not actually running at present but has taken to walking the course IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION and greeting everybody he knows as they pass. Long may he do so. Here’s the link :     http://www.parkrun.org.uk/cambridge/

Is there an equivalent nationally organised, weekly free race, run by volunteers (no pun intended) happening in the USA ?

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Aliveandrunning2013 November 14

Out running with the club based at Cambridge and Coleridge AC on November 12. We meet up on Tuesdays around 6.35 pm, have a jog around the athletics track, do a series of warm up exercises and then split into two groups, one to use the track and the other to run on the road. I usually go out on the road. This time of year we run in the dark. The street lights give a reasonable light on most routes but there are plenty of spots where the light is obscured by trees or the street lamps are spaced too far apart to illuminate the path in its entirety. That means you can’t always see where you are placing your feet and thus each of these strides can produce EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY. Each step forward is a leap of faith (if a step can be a leap) into the unknown. You could be putting your rapidly moving foot down on wet leaves, pot holes, dog poo and very uneven surfaces. The name of the game is survival ! Survival of the fittest. The weak or unlucky fall by the wayside. Leave them there. You must succeed at all costs and pass your winning gene pool to the next generation. Running in the dark is so Darwinian. We become an elite, unstoppable force, disregarding the poor visibility and triumphantly overcoming any impediment ( including those irritating pedestrians who persistently dawdle and get in my way). Don’t they recognize a group of Greek gods and goddesses when they see them ?

I like running in the dark. I don’t worry about falling over and therefore my body is not tensing up. It can be exhilarating  running past shoppers, ancient Cambridge buildings, alongside the river and along the old, short roads and open space paths. We numbered about 25. Nobody met with an accident. We enjoyed it.

Last night we went to the Cambridge Union debating hall and listened to an interview with Donna Tartt, the author of The Secret History. My Little Friend and The Goldfinch. Despite her stylized Gothic appearance, which I presume she maintains each and every day because I have never seen a photo where she has deviated from this dress code, I found her warm,responsive and smiley in conversation. There was a long queue for book signing which I joined and was eventually rewarded with a few friendly words and her signature. Thank you Ms Tartt.