Grumpiness

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 26

Hooray, I’m into the Cambridge half marathon for 2014. Various off spring are also trying to get registered. I got in today because I had pre-registered and have a Cambridge postcode, tomorrow registration is open for those who previously emailed their interest and on September 30, registration is open for everyone else……if places are still available ! The first tranche of registrations (which includes ME) has taken over 2000 of the 4,600 places in under 12 hours.

Great local story in our city newspaper, Cambridge News, which was taken up by the nationals. Trumpington Village Hall which hires out rooms or the Hall to groups like the Women’s Institute, pensioners and the Brownies, took an unremarkable booking for a “relationship support meeting.” In reality, the booking was undertaken by a bondage group who intended to provide lessons in “flogging, spanking and domination.” The paper described the individual workshops and sessions and noted that the low cost fee included tea, coffee, pastries and biscuits. One of the sessions offered Kink on a Budget, focusing on BDSM, “without breaking the bank.” On September 25, the paper’s headlines announced a bondage workshop at Trumpington Village Hall (with considerable detail) and on September 26, the headlines reported that the  village hall trustees had cancelled the booking (with more substantial detail of sessions that would now not take place and quotes from outraged local residents). The hall manager said “We provide services for little old ladies and child care groups. Some of our little old ladies who come to play bingo will be upset.” The articles marvelously illustrated the British stereotype of condemning anything sexually unconventional by implication or insinuation rather than straight forward criticism or argument. The clear message is it’s smut from which vulnerable people (little old ladies and children) need to be protected. The case for mild sexual diversity in the Cambridgeshire villages has received a body blow (with no sexual frisson in this instance).

In the near future I will be posting pictures of my books where they live, sit or are stacked, dreaming of an air conditioned, low light, purpose built library extension. I may also include pictures of piles of papers and magazines too. The world waits with bated breath.

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 23

Following the calf pains which developed after I recovered insufficiently from the Grunty Fen half marathon, I decided not try running again prematurely (after running prematurely on September 14 and further injuring myself). I went for a gentle 2 mile jog yesterday and felt no calf pain but later it didn’t feel 100 % right. I’ll go for another 2 mile run on Thursday and then do the Cambridge parkrun on Saturday, September 28. I’m doing the Hoo Haah half marathon at Wimpole Estate on October 6 or maybe not ! It’s trail run and hilly which might be kinder to calves. However there is a high likelihood I won’t be on the start line or not complete the race.

We volunteered at Wimpole parkrun last Saturday, enjoyed coffee with friends, had a quick look around the second hand bookshop and visited a Second World War themed boot sale selling memorabilia from the 40’s and 50’s. Many people were dressed in uniform or period fashions. It was like being on the set of Dad’s Army. Clearly, part of the attraction for the participants was the opportunity to dress up and get into a role. A uniform carries authority and is a very visible sign of particular powers, however small or mundane. It’s a cliche to state that women like a uniform but I think a substantial number do. (Stereotyping warning).

We went into Cambridge on Saturday afternoon and I made a beeline for the second hand bookstall where, mystically, a particular book spoke to me in the politest manner, arguing his case for purchase (and it was a “him”). No, I growled, I don’t want you. There is no way you are being invited into my small, precious library. My lips curled with disdain and my face was wrought grim and aged with loathing. I turned abruptly, my cloak swirling with stylish abandon and strode off into the Cambridge melee , an unstoppable force of nature. I congratulated myself on having defeated the urge to buy a book and move on. Well done me !

Postscript : I returned to the bookstall and bought the above book 30 minutes later. I had reviewed my original decision and found it lacking in intellectual rigor. It was simply too risky, too dangerous not to let it into the family home. I have related this little story to prevent others making similar mistakes. Never take chances.

I bought these marvellous knitting patterns at Wimpole Hall.

Knit 1 knit3 knit2 knit4

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 16

Entirely missed the Great North Run on TV yesterday. We journeyed from Cambridge to Barnes, South West London, to see my sister-in-law’s cottage located a stone’s throw from the Thames. The London  traffic was horrendous. It took us 3 hours to complete 74 miles but it was worth it. We had a lovely meal and then walked around the area. Excellent places  to run, particularly along the side of the Thames which is still wide at this point. Barnes Bridge is the finish for the Boat Race between Oxford and Cambridge.

Technology was primed to record  the Great North Run but declined to cooperate when the time arrived. No matter, Lorna has registered our interest in entering the ballot for the race in 2014.

Note for pedants : the use of “tremour” instead of the modern variant “tremor” in my previous blog  was deliberate. I personally favour the archaic spelling, thanke ye verily muche!

Small article in the Guardian’s G2 concerning the commencement of the UK doughnut wars. Dunkin’ Donuts are going head to head with Krispy Kreme. The former company plans to open 150 restaurants in the UK. Apparently there are 49g of sugar in each a single donut. This is clearly good news for diabetic and obesity hospital services, the diet and weight loss industry and funeral directors. Thank you, Dunkin’ Donuts and Krispy Kremes for safeguarding and creating UK jobs.

The media is currently full of reports of sexual abuse and exploitation, sometimes historical, with national celebrities, priests, senior clerics and many individuals involved with adolescents in care homes, being charged or investigated. There seems to be a complete absence of any discussion or debate about the nature of male sexuality and power, how widespread this behaviour appears to be, whether or not these sexual proclivities are a congenital part of male sexuality, why cultural norms of acceptable sexual conduct are so frequently breached, what can be done about it and the psychological and emotional development which can lead to these outcomes. Society at large is adept at reporting and describing taboo and destructive  sexual behaviour (when it eventually finds out) but only utilises it as drama and entertainment. We gasp, condemn and move on to the next shocking breaking news. There’s precious little analysis of the wider issues. That’s a pity.

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 14

Tail runner volunteer at Cambridge parkrun today ! I’ve not run for nearly four days following a sudden painful right calf out running with the club two days after a half marathon. I completed the 5K course with Vicky who had not done a parkrun before. She has been running since the beginning of the year following recovery from a car accident and did a time of around 46 minutes. She didn’t stop jogging despite me making it quite clear that run/walking is a good and accepted strategy and that she would still be a runner even if she walked occasionally. Everybody who either walked or ran in a Saturday morning 9am parkrun won hands down on non exercisers who were still in bed or slumped on a sofa, no matter what time they did it in. But it was important for her not to stop and she was able to maintain an even pace. The fast runners who lapped us were well behaved today and I made super sure that Vicky stayed hard left as they whizzed past us, very foccussed and oblivious to anything else except their own times. There was a lot of general support and encouragement from many of the less fast, less self regarding runners and particularly the marshals. Overall it was a very positive experience for Vicky despite the chilly, drizzly weather. I enjoyed being a tail runner, jogging and chatting  but unfortunately my painful right calf returned which suggested my injury will need a much longer period of recovery. In fact, as soon as I broke into the gentlest of jogs to the toilet before the race started, my calf began twinging immediately. The prospect of an extended non running period looms large.

A deserved well done to my 24 year old daughter Isobelle who achieved a personal best at Cambridge parkrun today, leaving Mary, in the 75-79 age category’ eating her dust and causing her to cough slightly when she finally passed the finish line a massive 13 seconds behind her. To be fair, Mary was a national athlete in her younger days and still does a lot of running. Age needn’t be a bar to running and running well. I’m regularly outrun by people approaching 70 and over 70. Peter, also at Cambridge parkrun, is in the 80-84 age category and competes every week.

Just registered for the Ely New Years Eve 10K. This is a popular race so early registration is needed. For most big, over subscribed runs you can arrange to be notified when registration is going to be opened so you can get in early and avoid missing out. The London marathon is full in a few hours and my local  Cambridge half marathon in a few days. It’s easy to lose a place.

And now a very serious issue ! I was coerced, nay forced, into culling my book collection by my wife Lorna a few days ago. The tremour of anxiety in my hand has only just subsided and now the full story can be told to the world via this blog. Well, in a few sentences. I like books and they like me. When I go into a bookshop they call out “Steve, over here…….choose me” and it’s the same online and in the book review mags I read. They are very persuasive and offer compelling arguments why they should be permitted to join my library. Since I am weak, kind hearted and a soft touch, I frequently capitulate. As a result, I admit, we have a great many books. On shelves, in bookcases, in piles on the floor, down the side of the bed, at the end of the bed, in the loft, in drawers, on top of wardrobes, on tables. Additionally, there are newspapers and magazines in bulk (in the same locations). I do test Lorna’s patience and goodwill but it’s like an addiction. The content is just so excessively interesting, exciting and enjoyable that the loss of such nuggets of gold is like a bereavement, a significant emotional loss. So, how do I manage to let anything go? Well, throw out Lorna’s books for a start. If I was really a bad person, I would secretly buy cheap discarded dross at car boot sales and then take them to a charity shop in a sacrificial fanfair of hurt feelings and defeat to protect my cherished tomes. I do identify some books that I no longer want (or didn’t need in the first place) but I find it uphill work. I fully recognise that Lorna is extremely tolerant and I will continue to work on strategies to enhance my dust removal skills and manage my book collection. Like building a temperature and light controlled library extention/annexe complete with robots armed with vacuums and feather dusters (more like the replicants in Bladerunner rather than I,Robot, out of preference). Of course this is just a crazy dream. Or is it……..?

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 11

I went running with my club Cambridge and Coleridge yesterday evening and came unstuck! Summer came to an come to an abrupt end for a start. It was cold and raining and I still felt chilled despite dressing  appropriately.We jogged over to the American  Cemetery to do some hill repetitions and it became dark pretty quickly. Some of us decided to go back early, others opted to do one less repetition and return and I, with mainly young fast runners, chose to do the full set. By this time it was almost fully dark and you couldn’t see the ground you were running over. This didn’t worry me and no-one came to grief despite the bricks sunk into the dirt path and the rabbit holes. Unfortunately when we began jogging back to the home track, my right calf began to twinge and a little further started to hurt in earnest. I was obliged to stop running and walk back about 4K in the dark, wind and rain. I think the problem occurred because I didn’t recover sufficiently from my half marathon two days before. So now I have to rest it for at least 4-5 days and will have to forgo parkrun on September 14. I have volunteered to help, however, and will be the tail runner which does not require much running. I will get to chat with a determined person who has pushed him or her self  to complete the 5k course which means they are a clear winner over all those who are still in bed or eating Krispy Kremes or who don’t exercise. I’m looking forward to that.

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Aliveandrunning2013 September 9

A great Grunty Fen half marathon yesterday. I ran it in 1 hour 47 minutes which is 8 minutes faster than last year and 3 minutes faster than I ran a similar flat half 14 years ago. As usual I was exhausted  when I passed the finish line but recovered quickly. I was so focussed at the end I failed to see or hear family friends screaming support. Lorna asked Isobelle to meet up and take me back to where they were cheering the other runners coming in. Lorna said that it worries her too much when she sees me bent over and totally drained and my rival Mike said he had concerns as well when he ran with me. Oh dear! Next time I’ll run straight into bushes, recover and then present myself to polite society smiling, relaxed and exuding surplus energy like a newly coiled spring.

The course was flat, windy and open with fields on either side. The recent hot weather has subsided and was just right for me on the cool to warm scale. I drank at water stations on two occasions (at 7 and 10 miles), walking while drinking for around 30-40 seconds. When I started running again I felt refreshed and less tired. In the past I’ve not taken on water during a race (unless it’s been really hot or I felt thirsty) and I’ve not stopped. I now  think taking short drinking breaks works best for me. I’m running another half in a month, not on a road surface like Grunty Fen but on trail, grass and undulating woodland. This will be more demanding and depending on the steepness of the hill, I will revert to walking for short periods.

Good news regarding Lorna’s ankle injury which has stopped her running for around 5-6 weeks. She had a telephone assessment by Physio Direct, a PCT funded free service which was thorough, used internet images to identify the injury and lasted 50 minutes. This was followed up by an emailed treatment plan including videos of remedial exercises and correct running form. Lorna has previously seen a physiotherapist and her GP and is currently waiting for a rheumatology out-patient appointment. It’s thought she has insertional achilles tendonitis. Thankfully it is treatable (and preventable with changes to running form and particular exercises). I miss running with Lorna and she misses running. We have a shared interest now and lots of running events to chose from. Hopefully, Lorna will be back to health in 2-3 months and will quickly regain her fitness. She is highly motivated so this won’t be a problem.

I watched two TV programmes this evening. The first one, Panarama, looked at the problem of mentally ill persons in a state of aggressive disorder being taken to police stations and placed in a cell prior to assessment by a mental health team that might take several hours to arrive. The police stated that they didn’t have sufficient mental health training despite estimating that 20% of the persons within their remit fell into this category. Various CCTV footage showed individuals self harming in cells or needing to be restrained by police officers. The problem with the 30 minute format of this type of “revealing a scandal” programme is that they emphasise the drama and aggressive behaviour as shocking entertainment  and neglect reasonable and objective discussion concerning the reasons and solutions to the problem. Clearly the police need much more basic mental health training and to  work more closely with psychiatric liaison staff. There needs to be recognition of the consequences of the loss of so many psychiatric beds and the frequent inadequacies and under funding of community based interventions and treatments.

The second programme was Motorway Cops, unbelievably broadcast, not on Dave or ITV 4, but BBC 1. It contained the usual video record of a car taking off and being pursued at high speed by police through traffic and suburban roads thus demonstrating that both the chased and the chasers are as stupid, criminally reckless and dangerous as each other. The programme started with a serious crash with injuries to another motorist following a police pursuit. There was no discussion about the high risk of police chases which are almost always not commensurate with any known risk that the offender might pose should he not be apprehended. The police tend to revel in this kind of behaviour and take the moral high ground to suggest that they act heroically to prevent harm to the public. It’s a load of bullshit, of course. The programme did have a genuinely moving element within another storyline. Unfortunately, overall, these reality police shows are entirely self serving and obsequiously take the view of the officers they are showcasing. It’s enough to make you puke!

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Aliveandrunning2013 August 24

Parkrun went well today unlike my Garmin which failed to locate the satellite. Lorna has picked up an injury which will require weeks, if not several months, of rest. She volunteered and gave out finishing tokens as runners completed their 5K. This was less anxiety provoking than last week when she recorded times as they ran past the finish line into the funnel. Those naughty runners do insist on coming in as a tightly grouped bunch. Afterwards we had coffee with our friends where I fought a losing battle to get a word in edgeways. Very enjoyable way to spend Saturday morning.

It’s four years exactly since I had my heart attack. I’m feeling fitter and running better than I have ever done! I don’t seem to have any physical deficits except those I attribute to the medication. For example the beta blocker regulates my heartbeat and acts like a limiter preventing me from running faster. Anyway that’s how it feels. Do I need to take four lots of medication daily? NICE says yes, my GP says yes, the cardiologist says yes, everyone says yes! So I take it and will continue to do so religiously despite not feeling a need to continue with it.

We had a lovely break in Rye on the South coast. Rye is one of the original Cinque ports but the sea has receded and is now over two miles away. We stayed opposite a police station and overlooked their car park. The station is open only 4 hours daily to the public. They seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time washing their police vehicles (hoping to make a clean sweep?). Anyway, the vehicles appeared to remain in the pound for long periods. I suppose this is a better outcome than hurtling around, blue light flashing and siren wailing, on some flimsy pretext which they don’t have to justify, endangering the public needlessly.

The Parish Church of St. Mary in Rye was built around 900 years ago and has the oldest working clock tower in the country. You can ascend the clock tower and view the bells on the way up. There are marvellous views of the surrounding areas and a complete and healthy disregard for modern safety standards as you navigate around the limited space at the top of the tower. Forget paying the worthwhile entrance fee if you are claustrophobic, have a high BMI (very narrow corridor) or don’t like steep wooden stairs or heights.

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Aliveandrunning2013 August 11

Yesterday, my partner Lorna completed her 50th parkrun at Cambridge. Very well done indeed! It’s wonderful that both of us are running and have so many good running friends. Our running styles and mindsets are so different and tend to conform to male/female stereotypes. I run as fast as I can, don’t talk because of the supreme effort I’m making, can only wave acknowledgement to the marshals, knock slow people and children into the nettles if they get in my way and double up when I pass the the finish line, completely out of breath and exhausted. I do recover quickly, however. In contrast, Lorna frequently chats her way round, always verbally thanks the marshals, does take a big interest in her time but friendliness and sociability take precedence and often runs with or supports newer runners. After the run we usually have a coffee with friends in the park cafe which helps to acclimatise me to normal and healthy social interactions. The men seem to be in a more supportive role while the women talk animatedly and continually. It’s all good fun and a powerful antidote to feeling down. That’s the benefit of running with others of mixed ability and particularly women. You take your performance less seriously and enjoy yourself more. Men tend to be more fixated with performance, times, distances and superlatives. Anything to help us achieve a healthier perspective must be a good thing.

WE have been talking about Peter Tatchell, the human rights and gay rights activist. His lifestyle is rather less than luxurious and is completely commensurate with his ethical beliefs and values. He has created the Peter Tatchell Foundation ( PTF ) which is well worth looking at online. We’ll probably make a monthly donation. The man should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

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Aliveand running2013 August 9

I’ve only got four weeks to the Grunty Fen half marathon so I need to do some training. It’s a flat, open course and last year it was both hot and windy. I did just over an hours run today which included the footpath of the River Cam. It’s always pleasurable running near water. Rivers. lakes, seas and streams all have their own personality. You almost feel you are in close proximity to something which is alive and has its own sense of self. Although we are mid summer now, I haven’t seen many boats, neither narrow boats nor the white fibreglass cabin cruisers. I’m a narrowboat man! The cabin cruiser owners tend to be smartly dressed, look smug and their boats appear immaculately clean. They have the air of traditional Conservatives. Not that I am being judgemental of course. Invariably a male is at the wheel looking superior. Anyway, as my runs get longer I will get nearer, and eventually into, Cambridge. On the weekends I will see the rowing eights practicing and when the colleges return there will be many more eights on the river.

I’m still swinging my one 8 kilo kettlebell around on a daily basis. I do think it’s helping to improve my core strength. Is it really? I don’t know for definite but if I think it is then I can be assured that the placebo effect certainly is leading to improvement. Even as we speak, men and women in white coats are providing hard evidence that the placebo effect is a powerful psychological force and competitor for physical treatments with drugs or surgery. For depression, for example, some studies have found that placebos are as effective as anti depressants and without the side effects. Furthermore even if the person is aware they are taking a placebo, research has shown that improvement in some conditions take place compared with a control group that is given nothing. All you need is to believe or want to believe! And this would apply to most people, of course.

I went shopping to Tesco today and was forced to make a citizen’s arrest on a parent who, unbelievably, took two Krispy Kreme doughnuts out of the cabinet of shame and placed them in his basket because his son declared his love of them! I explained that I was taking this action to protect the health of his child which was being jeopardised by the consumption of high fat, high sugar, over refined, nutrient depleted pseudo food. His mouth dropped open and his eyes bulged. He violently knocked away my hand that I had placed on his shoulder. I hastened to explain that my actions were intended to be a little instructive drama to emphasise the unhealthiness of the product and lead him to question the wisdom of purchasing it. I didn’t want to take it any further. I hoped I had made my point. He reacted by bellowing out to the nearby security person. Despite my best efforts to offer further explanation, I was firmly escorted out of the store. As he left me by my car, the security man said “Best not do that again, sir. People have every right to buy Krispy Kremes. I sometimes have one at lunch time and I know my lad likes them.” He had forced my hand and I wasn’t going to back down. “OK,” I cried, placing my hand on his shoulder,”I’m making a citizen’s arrest for the same reasons I gave that other negligent father.” He laughed, gently took away my hand and said “Go home,sir, make yourself a nice cup of tea, sit down and read your Saga magazine. You’ll feel a lot better.” As he walked away I didn’t feel I had got my message across very effectively but I will return. Oh yes! I have a new strategy. I’m going to get some tee shirts printed and merely stand by the Krispy Kreme cabinet. I’m not fully decided on the large bold text but it will be along the lines of KRISPY KREMES ? A WISE CHOICE FOR TYPE 2 DIABETES or TUCK IN AND DIE EARLY or OBESITY…..IT’S THE NEW THIN.

HM Revenue and Customs have reissued photos of high profile tax dodgers including large scale tobacco smugglers. It’s a case of the biggest drug dealer squeezing out the smaller ones.

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Aliveandrunning2013 August 7

Running with the club yesterday evening. We ran down to Lamas Land just outside Cambridge City centre and did 6 X 3 minutes with 3 minutes recovery. It doesn’t sound much but you know you’ve been running when you finish. Temperature around 20 C. This common ground has pasturing rights and we were very close to the young cows on several occasions. These cattle were more habituated to walkers, runners and cyclists and took us in their stride, unlike last week when we caused a minor stampede in Granchester Meadows. Another beautiful Cambridge evening with the added bonus that I didn’t get trampled to death.

I’m trying to be more sociable when I’m running with the club but it’s uphill work (pun unintended).  When I arrive at the track I immediately employ a faulty strategy. I stand alone rather than join a group and wait for someone to approach me. Most runners, but not all, are intrinsically friendly. The problem with club runners is that the majority of them want to talk about running and associated topics such as injuries, times, distances and training schedules which seem to constitute over training. I struggle to take it seriously. It’s difficult to make the right kind of approving gestures and noises necessary to remain in the conversation.  I don’t tend to try that hard. I do speak to an increasing number of people, however. Apart from one or two people, there is no discussion outside of running. For all I know I could be chatting to paid up UKIP members or Mail readers. A known unknown!

I know I’m going to cause an incident in Tesco one of these days. I can’t stop myself from examining the nutritional values of convenience meals and all types of desserts. When I discover how much sugar and fat is used or the amount of salt lurking within, it doesn’t seem right to silently contain (note split infinitive) my shock . I sometimes mutter aloud “They are trying to kill me” and I mean it. The latest outrage perpetrated by Tesco is their installing a Krispy Kreme cabinet near  the entrance. These gooey, shiny,high sugar confections are between  200 and 400 calories each and still incorporate trans fats. I truly believe they and the other dangerous foods described above, should be displayed behind solid sliding doors ( like tobacco products in supermarkets ) to protect the vulnerable, the credulous and unthinking tabloid readers.

It’s so much easier for us sandal wearing, Guardian reader, wet liberal types to identify the enemy when they communicate their thoughts and beliefs clearly, unequivocally and without dissembling. Godffrey Bloom, UKIP MEP caused controversy by referring to £1 billion pounds in aid a month going to Bongo Bongo Land, a reference to Africa and Third World countries where corruption is rife. Ridiculing the aid programme in this grossly racist and patronising manner seeks to persuade us that such a huge sum of tax payers money would be far better spent on deserving causes at home (where charity should begin). If £1 billion does go to aid monthly then it won’t be for altruistic motives. This country, as with all other aid giving countries, expects a big return which will include arms and trade agreements, exploitation of natural resources, political or intelligence support and a host of other highly favourable outcomes possibly including backing for the ruling party.